Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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