He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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