just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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