i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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