I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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