I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
