he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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