PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
