they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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