they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
