umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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