He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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