so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
