I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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