i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
