So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
