I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
