Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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