i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
