to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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