Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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