Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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