dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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