True but thats because hes a fetus.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
