ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
