He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My pussy is not your playground.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
