If that was your dad, he is hot
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
