playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
