i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
