Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
