2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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