i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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