I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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