Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
