I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
