She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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