so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
did i just pee glitter
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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