drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
