i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
