You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So. Much. Porn.
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