DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
