I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i've created a new STD.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
