If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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