She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
