OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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