I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
