he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
