i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
