I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
