mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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