We need to rekindle our bromance
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
