You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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