Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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