i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
